Eau de coffee

Students have homework, teachers grade papers, lawyers read statements and documents, but baristas take their work home in another form...smell...and it follows them everywhere they go.

After working a shift at the coffee shop, the smell lingers on your clothes, encompasses the strands of your hair, and even seeps into your pores. Sometimes I literally feel like I sweat beads of coffee. I am pretty self-conscious about this smell, especially if I know I will be going out after work. Changing out of my work clothes doesn't get rid of the smell, I have to shower or brave the world covered in a cloud of coffee. I usually apologize to my friends if I meet up with them straight after work. I find some solstice in acknowledging the fact that I smell like coffee. They would usually tell me that they couldn't really smell it unless they got close and sniffed my hair. This made me feel better.

My last semester of college, I began working the morning shift before class. This was a true test to my will power because it required me to sit in a room of a hundred people while coated in a film of coffee. I had finally accepted the fact that I probably noticed the smell more than the people around me.

I was wrong.

I was chatting with my friends before class as people were filtering in around us. A guy who usually sat by us came in and started to unpack his things. He then paused, to a big sniff, turned to us and disgustingly said, "GEEZ WHO HAD COFFEE FOR BREAKFAST TODAY?!" I should have been mortified by the fact that currently, I was a human glade plug in, emitting the smell of coffee unto the entire lecture hall. Instead, I looked at him, apologized, and started laughing as I explained to him that I had just come from work.

And then I've had the complete opposite reaction happen.

I had to leave work one day and go straight to the dentist's office because of an awful tooth infection. When I got in the chair, the dentist and the hygienist crinkled their noses.
"You smell like coffee."
"Ya I just came from work," I muttered. I was ready for them to ask me to leave for smelling of coffee.
"Do you work in a coffee shop?" they asked.
"Yeah..."
When I confirmed their suspicious, they started fawning over me like two cats who just discovered a bag of catnip.
"We LOVE coffee."
"I drink a latte every day.
"You smell so good."
Needless to say having two strange women smelling me was a pretty awkward experience. I felt that they were getting a caffeine buzz from the mere smell of coffee that was soaked into my clothes. I remained stuck in that dental chair for forty minutes with my mouth clamped open as the two of them discussed how necessary coffee is to their existence. I desperately hoped their caffeine buzz would wear off so I could relax, but I think my eau de coffee kept them kicking.

So I guess it's a lose-lose situation. Either someone will complain that I reek of coffee, or I will get attacked by coffee enthusiasts. Maybe I'll ask my manager to invest in a shower for our employee bathroom, or suffer the consequences by paying for me to seek counseling for the emotional distress I have faced over this matter.

I think I will start bottling the smell of coffee and sell it as a perfume. Then non-baristas could bask in the scent of their favorite latte. I can see it now:
"Good morning."
"Hi, can I get a chai tea latte?"
"Certainly, for only 29 cents more, would you also like me to mist you with a chai infused perfume?"
Hey I might be on to something here.

Until next time...thanks a latte!